How to Reclaim Birthdays That Get Lost in the Shuffle
Sharing a special date doesn’t have to mean skipping the celebration.
Jun 01, 2025
Written by our Founder and Chairman, the Celebrations Pulse letters aim to engage with our community. By welcoming your ideas and sharing your stories, we want to help you strengthen your relationships with the most important people in your life.
Of all the topics we’ve explored in the Celebrations Pulse, one of the most popular was about birthdays. But it wasn’t on the usual rituals of cake and candles and singing off-key. It was, unexpectedly, the unique challenges faced by those who celebrate their birthday in December.
I can still remember the barrage of emails that came in afterward. One Harry & David customer, Connie, summed it up perfectly: “I feel seen!”
Her response stuck with me, and it got me thinking: Birthday complications aren’t just a December thing. Any date has a one-in-365 chance of overlapping with another occasion like a national holiday or celebration, like a wedding anniversary. You could be born on New Year’s Eve, but your big day may be overshadowed by all the revelry.
It’s a reminder that even life’s most joyful milestones can come with tricky situations. But with a little planning and thoughtfulness, we can make sure every birthday is special, even when it shares the spotlight with something — and someone — else.
Handling the conflicts
Consider the experience of Mark, a community member. He was born on June 12, exactly five years after his parents got married. As a kid, he loved the big backyard parties that celebrated both milestones. But his opinion shifted when he turned 13. That year, the cake read “Happy Anniversary, Denise & Paul.” His name? Scribbled on a cupcake… off to the side.
At 16, he wanted to hang out with friends. His parents wanted a romantic weekend. The compromise? A day split in two: skate park and pizza for Mark in the afternoon, dinner for his parents that evening.
Over time, they found their rhythm. And when Mark gave a toast at his parents’ vow renewal a decade later, he said, “I used to wish for a birthday all to myself. But now I see I wasn’t missing out — I was learning how to share love, not just cake.”
Stories like Mark’s are more common than I thought.
One teammate has a son whose birthday always falls around Memorial Day — a long weekend when families often travel, making parties tricky and school friends forgetful.
Another colleague has a St. Patrick’s Day birthday. That sounds festive until you’ve endured years of green-themed gifts and people assuming you’re Irish. As he jokes, “My parties felt more like they belonged to the leprechauns than to me.”
And then there’s Lisa, a community member born on the Fourth of July. It sounds like a built-in party — until you’ve spent decades surrounded by red, white, and blue. Eventually, she declared her own independence, throwing French-themed birthday parties instead. “No flags. No sparklers,” she wrote. “Just brie, baguettes, and a Paris playlist. It’s the one day I let myself be fully about myself."
Five ways to make every birthday count
Some families face a cascade of June celebrations — birthdays, anniversaries, Father’s Day, graduations — where one party ends up doing double, even triple duty. And December birthdays? They might just have the toughest time of all. Between tight budgets and full calendars, it’s easy for those birthdays to get lost in the shuffle. Plus, anyone celebrating a December “half” birthday will likely have scheduled it for June!
A birthday is never just another day. It’s a once-a-year opportunity to say, “I see you. You matter.” But when that day competes with other big moments, it’s easy to feel folded in instead of lifted up.
That’s why these “complicated birthday” stories resonate so much. Behind every story is a person. Let’s make sure those stories — and the people at the heart of them — feel seen and celebrated.
All the best,
Jim
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AUTHOR
Jim McCann is the founder and chairman of 1-800-FLOWERS.COM, Inc. as well as a business leader, author, and philanthropist with a passion for helping people deliver smiles. Devoted to helping others, he also founded Smile Farms, a 501(c)3 organization that provides meaningful jobs in agricultural settings to young adults and adults with developmental disabilities.
